How I wrote Hadrian's memoires

Still enjoying Voltaire. What a style! I envy, envy him. Studied Latin and Greek/ maybe I am a probably soft and prone to roman architecture of language. Not to mention I was brought up in the family where kids, including my father, were thought French from early childhood, before WWII.

I don't speak French, except some love French, we all have to know, as we have to be good in English to use technology or Italian to enjoy pasta.

Need to say my personal library is fairly packed with equal number of French and English writers, Americans are on the separate floor - they are dangerous, Latin Americans are partying in the penthouse all the time, Serbian writers live on the ground floor to meet and greet foreigners in our part of the world. Russians play chess in the salon and occasionally have firearms duels in he woods. Afraid to follow them to the woods, I carefully enjoy this vintage gents stories on paper / loving Puskin madly. In fact, all of the writers inhabiting my mental haven make my face pale and my heart trembling with fear, from time to time!

Those deeply personal favorites I take everywhere with me/ from kitchen to bedroom.

Conrad, V.Hugo, Lispector, Cortasar, Duras, Coetzee, D.W. Foster, Ballard, Lispector, Pynchon, S.F. Fitzgerald, Blok, Bartelmi, Twain, Cvetaeva, Carlyle, Simone Weil and many, many more.

Once we played game in the office , choosing which writer we would like to be, meaning the classic book we would like to be written by us. Well, I killed other competitors/ choosing for myself Hadrian's memoirs by Marguerite Yourcenar.

The rest was silence in the office!

This has to do with that ghostly, cannibalistic quality of literature - like baying typing machine used by some famous writer, pilgrimage to places where our hero was drinking, living and writing, or this little game we played in the office. I almost can't describe how joyous this game was and all fellow journalists took part in it with same deep, serious thinking.

Well, my inner vampire got the first prize!

So, my favorite authors- watch yourself.

LIŠENA SVAKOG ŽARA

Žena mojih godina

Draga, uslovna sloboda

Amazon je moj putokaz.

Iznad vremena velike tuge.

Zatežem bore u vlažnoj

delti. Oživljena vatrom,

kućnim poslovima.

Bez ruže u zubima.

Na tri ćoška.

Ostavljam mrvice

za sobom.Ne starim

kao katedrala .

Vezana za manastir

kao pčela.Ni stara

ni mlada: gledam

žive boje.

Vas, šamani.

Sav taj bes.

Teža od srednjeg

veka. Dodajem nulu.

Gluva kučka.

(Iz knjige „Poludragi“, Gradac, 2010.

Kulturni dodatak „Politike“ 15.01.2011.)

http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2011/01/09/literary_watering_holes/slideshow.html

http://faktiva.net/vest/sve-sto-radite-opredmecenje-je-vase-individualnosti

Living backwords

Recreating story Misery, written 10 years ago. Inspired with real events and people, still feels fresh and memories brought back to my mind again feel brighter then when it was really happening.
This quality of writing- possibility to keep hints and fragments of ourselves the way we were once is amazing. So your writing platform, your intellectual, sensual and spiritual self is capable to freeze deep your personal self,and you can come back to your memories and play with vex figure, who has your face as much as you need.
This quality of writing is why we need written testimonies - no meter are they fiction or some other kind of expression.
The writing is the only shelter to hide from very hurtful truth saying you can never go back home.
So now I speak with those ghosts of mine, remembering the archeology of building story but also re-living those emotions and encountering real people, obviously tattooed in my life deeply. How nice I can live and walk again through this little street of my life. Hear again those words and sounds, seeing all those faces in the same material and emotional position as they were arranged decade ago.
Better then the movie, better then life. This possibilty also neutralize so often used phrase how life doesn't have redo. Oh,it does!
Isn't it very strong part of writers playfulness and instinct/ to go back and sniff around footprints of distant memories.
Of, course it doesn't have to do with intimate memories but also writing can bring ball back to you/us , in case we are talking about recreating some big, historic, mutual experiences.
Seems I am now entering anthropology of writing, but it has to do with mystical part of my inner voice.
I see now how every blog post starts innocently and in the end not so naive and innocent.

Partying with Voltaire

So the beginning of the new year sounds like classic La vie en rose, to tell the truth, every time I get a bit drunk and dizzy, I sing this song, laud or silent.
The year 2010 has been one of the most exciting and surprising ones, so I am anxious to see and hear from 2011:) Dear, could there be more of THIS? Wow,I will keep ready and steady 363 days to realize that.
On writing - Hm,I did published second book of poetry, after so long and I will try to be quicker considering poetry/ cause the way I read, I hear,I infuse words in my mind is of poetic sort/ I realized this morning while reading Voltaire's Dictionary. In my mind this Cristal cut cynicism and, lets say rationalism/ sounds like bunch oh verses, poems in prose. And I've picked up few things for good, besides this elegant, smart, cool attitude of his. No one can be so arrogant as French thinkers and Voltaire is one of the kind.BUT he is good, extremely modern. He would devastate modern world of media and communication/ we would never be able to put it back together, if by any chance he could be reborn.And he would be great TV presenter.
Yes, dear old world I am absolutely positive it is time for the classics/ I am into Voltaire, and very good writer friend is for long time obsessed with Montaigne/ this one is much on vogue in the global perspective.I hope he will provide essay on Montaigne soon and I am sure he will devastate but also repair current Serbian landscape of madness, sadness and lost track.
French rationalism was my huge building block, as teenager I enjoyed on and on this beautiful way of thinking in old family library of my gran-gran pap's. Loved them all and felt at home reading timbre but sobering words of those guys, seems I was a bit serious girl.(OK,I had a crash on Marc Bolan, so i was not completely lost) Now, as fully adult it is time to party again with all of theme Montaigne, Voltaire,La Roschefoucauld which perhaps has to do with my journalistic side. In fact writer and journalist do connect in this kind of writing.
Seems I am starting to write blog for real.
New thing, thank you 2011!
PS I am overjoyed when machines and spellcheckers go mad with this French names, oui!